We are more alike than we are different

I know I'm not the first person to say this.

This is not a novel concept.

But I feel that as a nation divided, we need the reminder.

Several years ago, I worked with a fantastic family that had some intriguing art hanging in their entry way. They had two large, black canvasses with different colored bars arranged in columns and rows. When I inquired about them (I love modern, seemingly-random artwork), the mom of the household told me that the rows and columns were a visual representation of their DNA. Seriously. They sent away cheek swabs and then somehow, an art lab turned them into these canvasses. Now I totally get it--this may not be perfectly scientific, but there is a lesson here. The thing that made this art so intriguing is the fact the canvasses were nearly identical until the last few columns, where the bars were arranged in a slightly different pattern. Jokingly, the mom mentioned that when they first unwrapped them, they looked at each other and asked "Are we cousins?!?" Here's the thing: these two lovely individuals were from separate continents and completely different racial backgrounds, and their DNA was nearly identical. Because they are part of the human family, as we all are.

So. It's scientific, people. We are more alike than we are different. In addition to super cool, modern art installations in suburban homes, there is actual scientific data to support this. (The Smithsonian puts this number over 99%, and I'm sure you could find a plethora of additional data to support this in various scientific journals if that's your thing.)

And it doesn't stop there.

As an avid student of human behavior, I see the similarities between individuals of different ages, creeds, races, orientation, genders every single day.

When we are sad, we cry.

When we are tired, we yawn, our bodies slouch, and we get a little cranky.

When we are hungry, all we want is food.

When we are scared, we may act out in ways that do not make us feel proud once we calm down.

When we feel safe, secure, and valued we are our very best selves.

So what does this mean in a world that is torn apart by fear, division, despair, tension? What does it mean in a world where we are surrounded by messages that tell us daily that we are NOT safe, NOT secure, and NOT valued? What does it mean when the reaction of some to this seemingly perpetual state of feeling unsafe, insecure, and undervalued is to attack the safety, security, and value of others to make themselves feel better?

Oy.

Good flippin' questions, right?

And oh, how I wish I had the answer. How I wish that I could share that answer with the world and we could all sit around, drinking organic herbal tea and living in harmony. But I don’t have it. No one does. That’s part of the human journey, right? Facing adversity, facing pain, facing confusion and trying to do our best, knowing that perfection is as elusive as a shiny, sparkly unicorn, and yet treasuring the moments of beauty sprinkled along the way.

As I have reflected on these difficult questions, another, bigger question rises to the top.

What would happen if, instead of focusing on outward qualities, behaviors, or abilities, we focused on the fact that we are all people? What if we could see people as people first? What if, instead of immediately focusing on judgment of the people around us--similar to us or different from us, negative or positive--we simply took time to recognize them as the miracle of bones and blood and sinew and heart and mind and spirit that they are? A miracle made of the same material of which we are composed? I know this sounds a little whackadoo. And perhaps time consuming. But truly, it takes less than a second to recognize the shared humanity in the person brushing by you on the street, or driving in lane next to you, or standing next to you while you wait for the bus. This practice takes discipline. It takes practice. But it makes a difference. Try it.

Sometimes, family can be messy. Sometimes, family can hurt. But within a family, you find your roots and your sameness, whether you like it or not. The foundation created by family connection provides the beginning framework for your individuality which then eventually shapes your impact in the world. It's the same with the human family. We are messy. We hurt each other, sometimes in unspeakable ways. But we possess a shared foundation, a sameness. Most of us desire the same things: to feel safe, secure, and valued. How would our interactions, our conflicts, our joys, our celebrations be different if we recognized our similarities before we noted our differences? It's certainly something to think about.

Blog, revisited

Creeeeeeeeeaaaakk.....

Pffhh, pffhh, pffhh...

Pooffff....

Welcome to my (rather feeble) attempt to use written sound effects for dramatic demonstration of what it might sound like to pull a blog out of the back closet, dust it off, and fire it up again.

It's been three years. Oops. What have I been doing for the last three years? Vanquishing the dragon of body image disorder with amazing meditations, sharing my wisdom with scores of other women, empowering the next generation with sound, passionate, and inspiring counsel?

Ha.

I've been hanging on. For dear life.

In a society that praises and rewards "busy-ness," I have been a friggin prodigy. Super talented at filling every moment. Raising babies takes time. Being a wife takes time. Running a business takes time. Being a friend takes time. Investing in the beautiful yet challenging gifts of all of these things left me drained--physically, emotional, spiritually. So I haven't had a speck of energy or intellectual capacity to spare for this blog. But things have changed. Both of my precious babes are now required to be away from me for nearly 7 hours a day and they are thriving. School is a good thing. The business I've been building for 8 years is at a sustainable level. My new business is still germinating, and I'm okay with that. Our family rhythm is still rapid and energetic, but there are periods of slower tempo that allow me to sit, think, and breathe. And write.

But now I find myself with this bizarre creature that visits on Mondays and Fridays. It's called Free Time. Whaaaaaaa??? What the heck it that?! I haven't really had free time since I was in middle school. (True story, not hyperbole!) Free Time and I are still becoming acquainted. I will let you know how it goes. (That should be an interesting post for the future.) In the meantime, as Free Time and I gradually get accustomed to each other's presence, I am revisiting the ole' bloggity blog. But I'm different now. Life is richer, harder, more complex, so I hope that my blog will be too. Body image and the celebration of beauty in each of its expressions, internal and external, are still very important to me; however, as I have matured in mind, body, and spirit, my thoughts on what it means to live a rich and full life have matured as well. So now the focus of the this blog will be broader. I'm not sure what that will look like, but my hope is to share observations of the beauty that can be found in all aspects of life: the moments, experiences, and actions that shine through the difficult, broken, and ugly.

So get ready...

...here we go!!!!